Here we are as a collective silently sitting here, pondering upon our lives, waiting, holding our breath and wondering when it will be our time, when will we catch the “virus” that’s claimed the lives of over a million people just like us?
Am I next? My mind is going 100 mph in this sleep deprivated zombie like trance. I look over at my daughter, she’s only 11 years old and hasn’t even gotten the chance to even start living her once bright, hope filled life. She catches my stare so I shoot her an optimistic smile. The light that once shined so brightly in her big innocent doe eyes is gone now, I noticed. In its place sets fear. Fear of the unknown, fear from having to go to public school everyday. Fear from losing her grandmother to the virus just 3 months before. Now it’s fear because her daddy has developed a horrific cough and he isn’t breathing very well. She googled the symptoms as soon as she heard the cough and sure enough they are symptoms of covid 19.
I just buried my best friend/ life partner last January 25, 2020 and Pete had me come back here so we could raise our kids together as a team. We broke up for 3 years but still remained close friends and he took care of me as I was healing from the accident that took my partners life. Then Covid hit and took my grandmother in August. I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the funeral. Too many bad memories around that subject. I buried my mother and brother in 2010 and was still healing so funerals are a trigger for me.
I’ve noticed a slight cough that I have and Pete still isn’t getting any better but refuses to see the Dr. Out of fear that they will quarantine us by ourselves then might come in and kill us as a population control technique. What do I tell my kids if their daddy dies? Who will care for them if I die too? The things that go on inside your head in 2020 and 2021. The universal year number 5 which stands for chaos and change. The 5 of cups in tarots definition is you had 5 cups and two turned over and even tho you still have 3 cups left you can’t see them because you’re grieving the 2 cups you lost. Loss and grief, losing half of what you have. Yea that’s our universal year. Expect the unexpected. Last year was a 4 year, which should’ve stood for stability and structure, I would’ve thought, but I was wrong. It was more like shaking the structure, or tearing down the unstable structure. But the 5 year, I know, is about chaos and change because I am a life path 5 and that’s what my entire life has been.
I finally got him to go to the Dr and after 5 hours waiting in a room we finally find out that the çovid19 test came back negative and he has “a touch of pneumonia”. We need to thank the heavens because it could have very easily been a much worse outcome. Being that worried and that close to a fatal illness really makes you realize just how dangerous this epidemic is and how everyone needs to take it more seriously and wear your mask if you must go out in public and if it’s not a nessessity then please stay home until this is under control so you don’t have to face the anxiety of wondering if this is your last few days on Earth.
CherryMoon-SoulHealing 